REMINISCING
( Applevale Commander X Oklahoma Glory)
1980 bay rabicano mare, 14.3
June 24, 1980- October 30, 2009

We bought Marie, our first Morgan, in 1984 as a very green four year old from her breeder Barbara Niemi of Treble Clef Farm in Calhoun, Georgia. Being young newlyweds, we did not have the funds for tack or anything else except the mare's board, so I started riding her bareback in a halter and quickly progressed to bridleless. While bridleless riding is very popular amongst today's Natural Horsemanship trainers, thirty years ago it was a rarity mostly reserved for trick or circus horses. I was inspired in my endeavors by the New Canaan (CT) mounted drill team, whose horses, all grays, did synchronized riding in formation on the flat and over jumps- without any sort of tack. Marie was the first horse I ever trained start to finish and she quickly became a successful show mare, winning many titles and year end awards in hunter, western pleasure and dressage. I also taught her to drive.

At the time I acquired Marie, I had no idea who many of the horses on her pedigree were. With the help of friend and breed historian Laura Stillwell, I began to learn about the "mystery" horses behind my new mare, and thus began a life-long love of Morgan history and bloodline research. Marie had some very interesting old lines. Most people will recognize Kingston in her sire's pedigree, as he was one of the better known sons of the famous Upwey Ben Don. But Oklahoma Glory, Marie's dam, has lines which are equally respected among breeders of old type Morgans. Glory was by the famous California palomino parade and show horse, Desert Sands, bred by the actor/bodybuilder, Steve Reeves. Mr. Reeves was one of our earliest breeders of colorful show Morgans, producing many champions by his palomino stallion Dickie's Pride (Desert Sands' dam, Lady Sungold, was one of them). Glory's dam, Cresta's Silver Leaf, was from old government and old California lines which included horses bred by William Randolph Hearst.

Due to her steadiness and reliability under saddle, Marie was the number one horse in our lesson program and taught many children to ride from 1985-1997. She also gifted me with two offspring, daughter Willy Remember Me (by Treble's Willy Wild) in 1986 and son Patented (by Big Bend Doc Davis) in 1990. Marie was working at third level dressage when she had to be retired due to metabolic founder in 1997. We then tried for two years to breed her once more, this time to a lovely palomino son of Californio, but unfortunately she did not conceive despite all efforts.

Despite her problems with insulin resistance, Marie remained healthy into her old age. It was a surprise when she colicked one day in late September 2009. Actually it was not a typical colic, as her gut sounds were normal and everything felt normal inside when my vet examined her. She took a few days to bounce back. One of her ears somehow got infected as well- we think while she was down and struggling, she scooped dirt into it- but it cleared up with antibiotics. In retrospect however, this colic was a premonition.

On the evening of October 20th Marie once more became stricken with colic-like pain that came and went. Her bloodwork came back normal (actually "excellent for her age", according to my vet). He also checked her for sand, which was negative. Gut sounds were again normal.  Stumped, we put her on antibiotics in case it was some sort of infection. Things did not improve over the next 4 days and I was ready to euthanize her, it just felt so hopeless and it was awful to watch her feel so horrible and there was nothing I could do. My vet suggested giving her a few more days, since she would get up and eat and act mostly normal for hours in between her bouts of pain. "Where there's life there's hope", he said. He also suggested that she could have ulcers, so I put her on GastroGard.

For the next 5 days Marie continued to be up and down. Instead of her usual confinement to a drylot, I  kept her on pasture to encourage her to eat and with the nagging thought in the back of my mind that I wanted her to be happy if it was getting close to her time. She would lay flat out for hours, usually having a peak period of pain when she would roll, then get up and graze and act fairly normal for 12-24 hours. I had hoped and prayed we were dealing with something curable but now began to think (again) that the problem was much more serious than ulcers. On the morning of October 30th Marie went down again. Since it was raining I put her in her stall and went to the house to grab a quick lunch and her GastroGard. When I came back she had cast herself. I had quite a time getting her back up without any one else there to help. I put her out into our biggest field and she quickly laid back down.

Heartbroken, I went up to the house to place the call we all dread- the one I've never had to make before.

When I came back Marie had cast herself again- this time up against the fence. All of the other horses were lined up on the other side, watching, as if they knew something very serious was going on. There was more struggling by myself to get her up again.

I walked her to the place we had chosen as her final resting place. Always obedient, she followed. Dr. Wright arrived and examined her. He commented on all the weight she'd lost since he'd seen her just over a week earlier. It was obvious something was very wrong with her. Marie was grazing again, but frantically, almost as if to distract herself. Dr. Wright apologized to her as he gave her the shot. About 4:30 PM on October 30, 2009, my beautiful Reminiscing went very peacefully into the next life.

Marie was my first Morgan. I had her 25 years. She is the reason I do what I do. I'll be forever grateful for her patience with me as a novice horse trainer twenty five years ago. She taught me so much during her life, and with her passing she continues to teach- how to grieve, how to cope, how to heal from the loss of a loved one.

I take comfort in knowing that Marie enjoyed some of her last time on this earth grazing all day, something I would not have allowed otherwise since she was insulin resistant. The night she passed on, I left the gate to her drylot open.  Now she can run free on the grass,  eat all of it that she wants, and she will never hurt again.

Shortly after Marie got sick and I worried that she was nearing the end, I had decided that if my 2010 foal out of Katie (leased mare) was a filly, her barn name would be Marie. My dear friend Nancy Harris (Frosty's breeder), has the soul of a poet and she always writes the most eloquent things in her emails to me. When I told her of my plan, she wrote:

I always rejoice when a new foal looks to me in the knowledge that we have been together before. Death and birth bring the same tightening in the throat as we realize how much there is beyond our understanding. Time brings distance, to enable letting go of the angst. I can only hope that Katie's foal will look to you with that knowing in its eyes, and you will be rejoined and bonded once more, together for another lifetime!